Dream a little dream.. or not

The blood takers have come in and gotten their daily requirement of my blood, only 4 vials this morning.  They must be cutting back.  Blood thinner shot has been given in the belly, pain med inserted through my IV, stroke assessment done (I had a little movement in the hand..yeah me) and the slow tottering rattling walk to the bathroom has been completed. And all this before 4:30 a.m.

Ron is asleep.  He’s all cocooned in blankets and softly snoring.  I know that sleep chair cannot be that comfortable.  Bless his heart.  He may not be hearts and flowers but he has been steady and true and a rock.

Since I have stroke 1 and stroke 2 (am going to have to come up with some clever names), I have not had any dreams that I can recall.  I know everyone dreams.  Ron never recalls his.  I have always dreamt. I log my dreams and have very vivid dreams.  God also talks to me through my dreams; prophetically and the 2×4 against the head approach.  These dreams usually comes in threes. Apparently, I don’t pick up quickly.

An example of this; I had this dream of a star on a hill. We moved to Ephrata, Washington so I could do my first pasorate .  We had rented a house on C Street.  I had gone into the backyard to take Dozer the Dog out and I looked up. On the hill was a huge lit star. 

I am not dreaming right now and it feels a bit like another loss. Maybe it is one that will come back in time. Just seems strange and like something is off kilter.

Seems like in these early morning hours my mind turns on, which is really strange as I am a lousy morning person.  My family knows I only grunt answers out and now I can’t even fake good cheer due to the now present..no caffeine rule.

In these hours, I see the challenges ahead but also the opportunity.  I am scared, I am driven. These two battle a bit.  Having no control over parts of your body is a strange sensation. You will it to move, begging in your head and nothing happens.  You nearly break out in a sweat and become exhausted. Something as rudimentary as wiggling your toe becomes an impossibility.  This part of my challenge and opportunity.  My stubbornness and drive has become a plus and will help be a determining factor in my recovery.

Today will be busy; MRI, fitting for my foot brace, PT, OT and more tests.  Should make for some laughter.  Throughout this ordeal I have held, maybe even clung to my faith. Part of me blogging this was two- fold; to be able to journal this and to share this journey of both my recovery and my faith. So please know God is my strength and constant companion through this.  He is my rock. Without my faith and spirituality, I would be adrift.

Thank all of you for your prayers for my family and myself.  I ask that you keep them coming now and in the days ahead. 

Blessings.

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Author:

I am a wife, mother, and pastor. We moved from Bowling Green, Missouri to Idaho Falls in 2016. I am a native of Eastern Washington state. In 2013 I had 2 strokes in 8 days and this is my journey of faith, family and health. I believe no matter what happens in your life that God can use it for His glory.

9 thoughts on “Dream a little dream.. or not

  1. Good morning Dawn Marie….by the way, I do like your name! I do appreciate your blog; I hope it is going to be a positive part of your healing process. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. You mentioned you weren’t dreaming; I wonder if that could be caused my some of your “new” meds. Just a thought….

    I do wish you a blessed day. Love and hugs from Shirley Freeman

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  2. Dawn I know what you mean when you say Ron is your rock, Edward is my rock, he is such a crude man, nothing fancy or fake, what you see is what you get, he never pities me but caresses me whenever I need him, I never have to open or hold a door open, I’m always the first to enter ( maybe cause he is scared ) no just messing with you. He is my constant rock as I know Ron is with you, We need this type of rock here on earth to keep us grounded as our Heavenly Father wants us to be. We still have to lean heavily on our spiritual Father for He opens all our doors for us and it is up to us to enter first. I didn’t mean to take up so much of you time on this but I miss you and I like talking to you and miss that also. Hope you days ahead get easier and your road may be long but WE ALL GOT YOUR BACK. Love ❤

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  3. Good Morning, Dawn…your blog is very touching and provides a window into which I have the opportunity to see an amazing woman with a profound depth of faith and courage. I feel very blessed that you were a part of my life, even if it was for a short time. The star in Ephrata continues to shine to offer light in the darkness, just like you.

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  4. Sorry that Gramma Marie didn’t take the kids last night, thought with Brady there that might be to much for everyone. I will be more than happy to take them tonight if needed. I will be calling Ron later to talk about that. The kids were very good driving to LA this morning. We drove down by the river before going to Day Camp. I am enjoying your blog, It’s so good to see your sense of humor hasn’t left you!! Take care and we’re here for you and Ron through all of this.
    Love you all!!!

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  5. Dawn, thanks for sharing your journey toward healing and most of all your faith. You’re on my mind many times a day and I say a prayer each time. I’m so sorry you have to go through this, but I know God has your best interests in mind and will keep you in His care. So glad you have your “rock” to look after you. Sending hugs. Marilyn Wilson

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