The blood takers have come in and gotten their daily requirement of my blood, only 4 vials this morning. They must be cutting back. Blood thinner shot has been given in the belly, pain med inserted through my IV, stroke assessment done (I had a little movement in the hand..yeah me) and the slow tottering rattling walk to the bathroom has been completed. And all this before 4:30 a.m.
Ron is asleep. He’s all cocooned in blankets and softly snoring. I know that sleep chair cannot be that comfortable. Bless his heart. He may not be hearts and flowers but he has been steady and true and a rock.
Since I have stroke 1 and stroke 2 (am going to have to come up with some clever names), I have not had any dreams that I can recall. I know everyone dreams. Ron never recalls his. I have always dreamt. I log my dreams and have very vivid dreams. God also talks to me through my dreams; prophetically and the 2×4 against the head approach. These dreams usually comes in threes. Apparently, I don’t pick up quickly.
An example of this; I had this dream of a star on a hill. We moved to Ephrata, Washington so I could do my first pasorate . We had rented a house on C Street. I had gone into the backyard to take Dozer the Dog out and I looked up. On the hill was a huge lit star.
I am not dreaming right now and it feels a bit like another loss. Maybe it is one that will come back in time. Just seems strange and like something is off kilter.
Seems like in these early morning hours my mind turns on, which is really strange as I am a lousy morning person. My family knows I only grunt answers out and now I can’t even fake good cheer due to the now present..no caffeine rule.
In these hours, I see the challenges ahead but also the opportunity. I am scared, I am driven. These two battle a bit. Having no control over parts of your body is a strange sensation. You will it to move, begging in your head and nothing happens. You nearly break out in a sweat and become exhausted. Something as rudimentary as wiggling your toe becomes an impossibility. This part of my challenge and opportunity. My stubbornness and drive has become a plus and will help be a determining factor in my recovery.
Today will be busy; MRI, fitting for my foot brace, PT, OT and more tests. Should make for some laughter. Throughout this ordeal I have held, maybe even clung to my faith. Part of me blogging this was two- fold; to be able to journal this and to share this journey of both my recovery and my faith. So please know God is my strength and constant companion through this. He is my rock. Without my faith and spirituality, I would be adrift.
Thank all of you for your prayers for my family and myself. I ask that you keep them coming now and in the days ahead.