Awake but not alert

5 a.m assessments are such joy.  Some days I can fall back asleep, some days was a not day.  It was also a “code gray” morning.  Which is a storm or inclement weather.  Through the slits of my blinds I can see the lightening and definitely hear the thunder. I would ask to have them open the blinds but they are swamped.  Several new admits last night. Once again I cannot say enough nice things about this staff.  One of my previous nurses came in to give me my Lovinox shot (a blood thinner they will decrease as they increase the other) and she said she ad been praying for me.

Have yet to hear the results of the venous Doppler yet but am assuming that nothing showed ot they would have been on top of it. Hopefully today I move to rehab. I know that going directly home is not an option. My brain and I have some major relearning to do. I didn’t realize how much I enjoy wiggling my toes in the morning.  I can wiggle the right toes but I like symmetry.

Checked my Facebook this morning and found my own mini concert for me by my friend Michael Gaines.  He is a talented musician and he is playing Twila Paris’ “Lamb of God”. Brought tears to my eyes and a balm to my soul.

I have been getting many prayers which I am beyond thankful for and I encourage you all to share this blog. A lot of folks are going through stuff and some stuff is worse than others. I am mentally put air quotes around that word, stuff.  Stuff is/are the thing or things that isolate us from God, friends, and family. In our present that stuff is intense..and comparing stuff doesn’t work because major or minor it is our stuff.  Our junk in the trunk.  I am blessed that my strokes only affected primarily my extremities and not  as much my speech or cognition. I do at times slurr, lose my thought or a word and my short term memory is bit iffy.  We won’t even talk of emotions apparently the word cry makes me cry. I though compared to many on this floor am very fortunate and I know this but sometimes my stuff is all I see as these are the moments I am living in.  Maybe my stuff can hell someone else with their stuff.

All this stuff talk has led my scattered brain to think of double stuff oreos.  I have what we call the squirrel infliction.  Easily distracted.  We took that from the movie UP where the dog is talking and sees a squirrel and immediately loses focus.

I digress or regress…take time today to be with God, let him help with the stuff. Take time to be with family and friends. Reach out to strangers.  Hopefully next log will be from rehab.

My love and prayers go out to you all.



I am a wife, mother, and pastor. We moved from Bowling Green, Missouri to Idaho Falls in 2016. I am a native of Eastern Washington state. In 2013 I had 2 strokes in 8 days and this is my journey of faith, family and health. I believe no matter what happens in your life that God can use it for His glory.

6 thoughts on “Awake but not alert

  1. It rained hard here this morning when I met Ramona to pick up the kiddos. We all got wet, which they thought was great fun. You will have to ask them what I told them the thunder and lightening was. They thought was cool. I will share with you: the thunder is the angels in heaven are bowling and if it’s a loud clap of thunder, that means they got a strike. And the flashes of lightening were God taking pictures. They had big smiles when the lightening flashed. A few times we decided that God was taking a bunch of pictures. My mother used to tell me that the angels were bowing when the thunder clapped. God taking pictures must have been God telling me what to say because at first I didn’t know how to answer them on that one.
    Each day is a blessing/adventure having them with me which I am enjoying.

    Love you guys!!


  2. Considering all things, I think you’re dealing with all your stuff remarkably well – relying on God to see you through. I’m proud to know you, sweet lady. Praying that you continue improving. Hugs. Marilyn


  3. Dawn, I’ve certainly been dealing with a lot of stuff lately,some of it physical, but lots of memories connected with the “stuff.” Use the time you have to sort through some of that mental and emotional stuff. God Bless you.


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