Today I have not had the attitude of gratitude all day. It has not been a bad day, hasn’t been a good day but its just been a day.
We did have good news that they are ready to write the subsidy for the adoption. Now we just have to get that going. Would like to get it done soon. We picked with the Princess her new middle name Lizabeth, a form of Elizabeth which means God’s gift. We found an Irish name that we loved that started with an “a” but couldn’t use it as her initials would have been the vermin that rhymes with cat. Not good.
Ron was busy all day with his bus route. Think he is a bit nervous. But he was so busy he didn’t have time to help me do rehab. I did the stretches.
Heard from my spiritual brother Dusty from Idaho today. He had heard I had left the church. I said no not to my knowledge, I preached Sunday. But told him about the strokes. He was shocked. I miss him. But we always seem to catch back up.
LaBrierre’s brought dinner tonight. Amish chicken, rice with nuts, green beans, fresh tomatos and a wonderful desert. What a tremendous meal.
I am just out of sorts. I broke down a few times today and not even sure why. I was tired and I think I am feeling ineffective. I have to wait to shower. Can’t carry things room to room, can’t drive alone-have to be driven. Didn’t feel my visit yesterday was effective. Just am out of sorts. Will have an attitude adjustment tomorrow or by tonight…
Pain was a bit high today but with Ron gone, I couldn’t get to the meds, so think that was an issue too. I guess every day can’t be roses and chocolate..I think part of this is I miss my family, I would love to have them to lean on right now. And I am missing those friends I can cry with and not have to be strong all the time. I guess i have seen mommas loving daughters and makes it a bit harder missing my momma. I think part of me is tired of being strong. But then that is all I know how to do. Be strong, be a survivor and not be weak. But part of this is I am not a victim and I have worked years to put that me away.
Tomorrow will go into my office and take some deep breaths. Some normalcy might help. Ron has to drive bus tomorrow so I have to get the kids up and ready solo. They were so wound up that its a miracle they went to bed. 5th and 2nd grades, wow.
Now am going to watch Duck Dynasty, read my devotional, read my Bible and pray. I am glad He understands me in all my moods and emotional roller coasters and in my strengths and weaknesses.
Peace, prayers and blessings to all of you. Find a rainbow after the rain.