Slept a few hours and am now awake. The nights I sleep through the night are precious and few and far between.
Thursday was Thoughtful Thursday. I don’t multi task anymore and am able to only process a thought at a time. Today I kept thinking of circumstances.
Some things are of our own making, some things we have no control over. We have things in life that happen; sickness, disease, life, death, joy, sorrow, birth, richness, poverty and the list can go on. Some people embrace the situation, some hide from it and some try to ignore. It’s not the situation but how we deal with them.
I am reminded of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (name might be a bit wrong) stages of grief. They are; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. We all go through these in the midst of our tragedies. Albeit illness, finances, family problems or death. We at times will go through these stages over and over. I have done it with the stroke. Every single one of those steps and some repeatedly or I even get stuck on a step,
Grandpa and Grandma Lee (Bruce and Bea–Bb Lee my clown name is a dedication to them) taught me a lot about life and death. They were married 58 years and ran the funeral home together. They had their ups and downs. Struggles with family, business, alcoholism and illness. They had a zest for life, humor, and a sense of calmness. They taught us to have dignity for the dead, no matter the circumstances of their life. They taught us compassion for the families. They taught us to have humor in the hard times. Grandma could have a fierce temper at times and Grandpa had this stoic Zen like calm.
Grandma did the hair and makeup and she would talk to the bodies as she prepared them. She would only use Merle Norman cosmetics. Grandpa would do the embalming but hated the sight of blood. I miss them to this day. They loved me and accepted me and in their later years I became their caregiver,
They are two reasons that I have fought and been determined to make it through this part of this journey. They instilled in me that Irish stubbornness and drive. They taught me perseverance. They taught me to laugh when life is good and to laugh even harder when life is bad. They taught me not to take life so seriously and to stop and smell the roses.
There is a sing by Pam Thumb, Life is Hard but Gos is Good. All I can say is Amen.