I have been very quiet in my writings as of late. Partly because of work, partly because of health and mostly due to the inability to write cohesively. The words have not flowed very smoothly causing frustrations.
I have done another funeral for a 53 year old man. Such a tragedy and so much hurt for the family and friends. You pray, prepare, pray and try to give comfort as best as you can and still feel hopeless. Prayers continue.
Walking is getting better. The botox seemed to help. The brace with butterflies is still a constant companion. The arm well that is a different story. Hand still has spasms and a lot of tone. The torn rotator cuff does not help. For the last 3 days I have had a constant headache. Which is something I would not normally worry about but now it causes concern.
I am my own worse critic and am hard on myself. I has this delusion I would be back to being me before Christmas. Not going to happen. Which causes me frustration. Everyone says I have come along way but I don’t feel that is the case. They also say that I look great and that I don’t see that either. To me I look to be a poor reflection of who I was. I can’t dress as I did before and the brace is pretty but not a great fashion accessory. Ron says that I am changed but for the best. That my spirit is what folks are seeing.
Rest is hard to come by. I don’t sleep well in the bed. Have been trying Ron’s recliner and that seems to be helping. Still wake up 2-3x a night but some of the pain has lessoned.
Miracles are thought by some to be something of yesteryear but I have seen proof after proof of miracles. Leala McClurg is the latest proof of that after 6 weeks in the hospital, 6 surgeries and 46 units of blood, she sat in church today. She was a beautiful sight. She is our miracle and an entire community has surrounded them.
Weather today was strange. We have been having winter weather with the kids walking to the bus stop in the the teens to the 30’s and suddenly today was 73. Very windy. There were tornado warnings. Several touched down in Illinois. They even suspended the Bear’s football game in Chicago. I don’t think I will ever figure out Missouri weather.
Word of advice; love God, love you family, love your friends and show love to the strangers that pass by in your life.