In the words of Garth Brooks…the thunder rolls, and one child has moved from his bed to the family room futon. One has has been whimpering and the other two just increased their snore levels to match the storm velocity. Rather impressive. I am in the recliner in the family room to be with the boy child who doesn’t like the Storm, we have a policy with these kiddos of not letting them climb into bed with us, so we rotate out to the same room, cuddle and then just be near. The role of a foster parent or an adoptive parent of foster children is very different than of your biological children.
A few of our kiddos have been traumatized in their backgrounds. Some are a bit delayed or stunted in their social and emotional part of their upbringing. We have a variety of diagnosis thus labeling them at times our alphabet kids. They can be loving, sweet, adorable, funny, amazing, frustrating, exasperating and you can’t imagine living without them.
We have adopted one boy, our very own BLT, Brandon Lee Turner, who came into our home at 9, we adopted him at 10. He had been in the system since he was 5 and had been in at least 10 different foster homes. He was one week away from the finalization of his adoption with a single mother when that was disrupted and he was placed with us. He is now 12. He is a mix of little boy and pre-teen. He idolizes his daddy, Ron. Loves doing stuff with him. He truly was a gift from God to us. He is very proud of his big brothers and sisters. And wants to be a soldier like Pat and travel like Nick.
We are in the process of adopting our Princess. We had her on Christmas 2011 for respite for a week and we fell in love with this tiny little girl. Her one and only placement was not becoming a good fit so on her 7th birthday in 2012 she came to live with us. At that time she was not eligible for adoption, we even tried having her biological brother stay her. Because of the emotional damage done by the parents he had more issues than we could deal with. And with much heart ache we made the decision to have him placed elsewhere.
Parental rights for the Princess were terminated in 2013. We had to wait the allotted time for the appeals process to take place and then await our renewed home study to be done. Now we await the court date to make it official.
Princess has a lot of issues, she presents about 2 years behind her age. She is small for her age and skinny as a rail. Her diagnosis are long. She has a battle ahead but its achievable. We battle with food issues and this will be something that will be ongoing. We our working on not having her suck her fingers at night which is a self sooth mechanism. So tonight we put gloves on her hands so she couldn’t suck those fingers and you could hear her whimper and cry even in her sleep.
We have had a myriad of others. For awhile they were only placing teens with us. Some have been successes some we are still having hope for….some we worry about. Right now we have a sibling group that we will be keeping until June. We took them as an emergency placement in December and then there were no open foster homes. In reality, it has been too much with my health.
Speaking of which, they have me on new med to help in the prevention of migraine headaches. You take it daily. It has a nickname-dopemax. And yes it does make you a bit dopey. But the headaches are better..
Through all this, I have always always always had my faith. My relationship with my Abba, my Daddy. I am glad he is the one that is there for me. That he is the one I can share it all with…my laughter, my tears, my honest emotions…. The true me. God is good all the time, all the time God is good.