My older children, Pat and Nicholas were easy kiddos to raise. They were no drugs, alcohol;no teen pregnancies; they were pretty centered on each of their goals Army and business. I joke that it took four parents to raise two of them. But they weren’t bad kids with bad grades and had a great set of friends.
I was a young momma, 20 years old when I had Patrick. There was so much I didn’t know. Nick came along ar 22 and I only knew a bit more. I made a lot of mistakes. Some small, some big but they made it through.
I became a step parent to an adult woman who needed love and guidance who scared us at times with her decisions. I became her momma too. And to this day I worry about her and prayer for her and her family. She is Ron’s only biological child and he loves her.
We took in strays, loved youth group and RYC kids. We were unofficial foster parents to KT and she became the daughter of my heart.
Moving to Missouri we decided to foster and adopted two children and fostered through respite stays, emergency placements and placements approximately 25 kiddos. We had some semi successful placements, some unsuccessful placements, some nightmares and some of the kiddos we are still involved with. Our license expired September 30, 2014 at midnight. We are no longer foster parents. With my health it was too hard. (REFER to past blogs.)
On the 27th, we moved our last 2 placements to another home. They will come back once a month to visit us. They call us Grandma and Papa.
Our two we adopted; a boy almost 13-we adopted him at 10; He had been in our home since he was 8, two months from 9 . He is ADHD. But as he gets older, we see anger, back talking directed at me. He gies back to how bio dad treated bio mom and bio sister. He has gone from a 4 quarter honor student to struggling with 6th grade middle school. We have him in after school program for homework help, we have talked to him to motivate him. We have taken away privileges, grounded him, and tried an award based program. He feels picked on or we don’t understand. Or we don’t like him. He lies to protect himself but doesn’t understand that leads to more trouble.& He starts back with his counselor tomorrow.
Our girl has been with us since she was 7. We had sone respite care for her bwfore that. We adopted her at 9. She is special needs. ADHD, PTSD, RAD-one of my alphabet kids. She is on the lower spectrum for iQ but she has come aling way. We believe she may have been a fetal alcohol baby. She can be a sweetie or she can break into a screaming fit. She has food issues to do with texture. She is undersize and skinny as a rail. She is so funny at times but heaven forbid she hits the mood and has a meltdown.
Working with broken kids who saw and experienced things unimaginable in their formative years is challenging and scary. I can’t change what happened the first 4 or 5 years when they experienced the horrors of the bio parents. That stays in their psyche. I can love them, but love does not fix it, not as much as we’d like. We have to have patience, a support team. Remember our kids aren’t like Mr and Mrs Smith’s pride and joys who can be jocks and have perfect coordination.
I have to remember that we can only do our best, pray to God, lean on others, pray, talk to teacher’s and counselors, pray, keep our cool, lean on each other and pray together. And did I say pray.