Mind is willing, body isn’t always.

I still wait for the day that I am going to wake up and be pain free. That my left side will work as it used to before the strokes.  That day hasn’t come and it discorages me.  In reality,  it may never come and that is my lot in life.  I tire easily still, my immune system is not very immune. 

Folks don’t understand that. I look good. I have good hygiene,  I wear makeup and wear appropriate clothing. Sometimes more trendy than some would like. I have packed my heels and stilletos but now have a fascination for boots.  I look normal-ish but I am not quite there. But I can fake it well.

Today was a long long day of non stop go. Another visitation at the funeral home,  this time for one of my families, tomorrow is the funeral.   Starting feeling woozy and light headed.  My blood sugar had not dropped but shot up really high. Makes me chuckle, I am my own roller coaster ride.

I had sent a bit of a poor me, concern over a ministry issue to my mentor and got the greatest advice. “Not everyone is a Dawn Turner fan. Some people won’t even like you.  Get over it.”  Greatest advice I could receive.   Because I was making this into a poor me situation.

Some times in life we need to get over it and not make it all about ourselves.  We our self absorbed even when we try not to be.  God doesn’t want us be thinking of us but thinking of Him. Make Him the center and not ourselves.  Not always easy to do as we are faced with our humanity.

We need to look at God more and less at our fallibility.  We need to get over it. 

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Author:

I am a wife, mother, and pastor. We moved from Bowling Green, Missouri to Idaho Falls in 2016. I am a native of Eastern Washington state. In 2013 I had 2 strokes in 8 days and this is my journey of faith, family and health. I believe no matter what happens in your life that God can use it for His glory.

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