The “M” Word


It’s 12:47 a.m. and I am awake. Not because I am enjoying a interesting novel or fascinating biography. Not because I sm engrossed in a classical movie. Noteven because my children are sick.  No, I am awake at this hour because I am hot. Not the sexy hot, no I am the clammy sweaty gross hot.  I have been in denial but the truth is I am pre menopausal.  The grown up puberty for women.

I don’t like it.  Hot flashes whenever my body decides it wants even when it’s not convenient for me. And it had chosen some ill timed flahes.  New facial hair in new places that seems to grow rapidly in hours. Irritability and feeling like your skin has creepy crawly things at times. Tired, bloated, insomnia and the list goes on.  Awww the joys and perks of being a woman.

This is something mothers and daughters talk about but my momma isn’t talking from wherever she resides now. May she rest in peace.  It is not something we ever spoke about either,so I don’t know the family female genetic menopausal makeup of her or my grandmother. In fact, it would have been a strange conversation.  Me asking and her replying, ” Sister Sue, hell if I can remember.” (Don’t ask why I was called “Sister Sue”, I don’t have a clue why, to this day.)

The other day, I confess I did go into a rant. I know, imagine that, me ranting.  I was not happy with Eve.  Yes, Eve, as in Adam and Eve. As in the first woman, taken from the rib, the woman who talk to the snake aka the serpent, the one who brought the apple to Adam . The one who covered her nakedness and then was thrown from the Garden of Eden and then she received the punishment of womanhood. The pain of womanhood. Not just the beginning pain, not just childbirth,NOOO the joy the pain the wonder of menopause. Thank you dear Eve. And the sad thing is I love apples,  I am a Washington State girl.  Okay, technically we don’t know if it was an apple,  I  was conforming to pre school Sunday School basics.

In all seriousness,  our bodies are amazing.  Especially a womans. With our beloved we create life,  carry that life and nurture that life.  Just realizing how our bodies function and are put together, how can I not believe in a Creator.

I am 49 soon to be 50 and I thought menopause was some years away for me. But it has arrived like Chinook in winter, leaving me as soggy at times. So I  now will roll with punches with this. Another thing to add to the litany of how my body has changed in the last 22 months.  I am reminded that, “that which doesn’t kill you,  makes you stronger.”and Jeremiah 29:11,”I know the plans he has for me…”

Well, I am no longer hot, in fact am feeling a bit chilly.  go figure.




I am a wife, mother, and pastor. We moved from Bowling Green, Missouri to Idaho Falls in 2016. I am a native of Eastern Washington state. In 2013 I had 2 strokes in 8 days and this is my journey of faith, family and health. I believe no matter what happens in your life that God can use it for His glory.

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