The Princess has added more letters to her alphabet diagnosis. Her latest is PDD (pervasive development disorder), a form of autism. This is added to; ADHD, PTSD, FA, RAD AND POSSIBLE BI-POLAR. The deck is stacked against her.
Since we have gotten the Autism diagnosis it is like she read up on those behaviors and chose one or two of those to exibit. She especially likes the one that talk about wandering. Apparently she also either read up on cat burglars or Harry Houdini as well.
Tonight was the third time (yes I did say third) time this week. We told her to get ready for bed. 20 minutes pass and it is her bedtime. Ron goes to get her assuming (there is that word again) she is watching the Teen play his video games. He hollers for her and then realizes Ralphie (dog) is gone also. The Teen hollers that she isn’t with him.
Here we go again. Shoes go back on and groans, “She’s done it again.”
We open doors and yell her and Ralphie’s name. No answer. It is 8:45 p.m. and dark and cold. My heart sinks to the now familiar pit of my stomach. Ron walks around the house and sees movement in the playhouse. She is out there with her coat, boots and gloves over her pajamas. Princess is there but no dog.
The story finally comes out, after several varying versions, that she decided to leave because she was mad at us for something but couldn’t remember why. She decided she was leaving but because it was dark ault would take Ralphie. She did pack a bag but she left it there to get later. Only problem is we hid the leashes after the last 2 instances.
She takes Ralphie out only by his choke collar. How she got out without us hearing her is a mystery, as our doors talk. “Backdoor open”, “front door open”, side door open”,”basement door open”…enough to drI’ve you nuts. None of us heard,”back door open”.
She said she walked to the end of the dead end road but realized it was to dark to run away. As she is walking back she lets go of the choker and Ralphie bolts. Instead of letting us know immediately, she hides in her playhouse. And that is where Ron finds her but without Ralphie.
Once again Ralphie is on the loose but this time not his fault. It’s late so hard to find him in the dark. He is in a still unfamiliar area. Ron and Brandon go out for about 25-30 minutes looking. They should be paid to be scouts. No sign whatsoever. My mind jumps to what just happened to Minnie a few weeks ago, hit by a car.
We had told her no going outside. We had told her to not take the dogs out. So is her not listening the autism, stubbornness, a lack of understanding, defiance or her just not understanding or a mix of all or some of these.
The wandering is new. I can’t insert a tracker in her so am going to have to put a GPS tracker on her. I am regretting a tri level home right now, easy to lose her. We are on a brand new learning curve where my grade right now is a D- and that hurts a type A personality. As she acts up, The Teen acts up and so on and so on. He blows up at her, us, life and the blowing wind.
Ralphie is my boy. I have had since hour one of his life. I babied him as a pup so much that he thought he could be a 60 lb lamp dog. He is my partner to watch me when I was sick and after my strokes he would stay right by me. I pray we find him okay. Losing him would be too much for me.
The Princess, I am angry with her. I don’t know if she fully understands what she has done. She is not stupid but am not sure if she comprehends the severity of what she has done.
We are at another learning curve and I pray we can do this. Tonight I was not calm as I should have been nor was I tolerant to the extended lies. I am literally praying for God’s guidance on this journey he has trusted us to take part in with our alphabet kids.
I question myself lately if I am a good enough parent for these 2 children. I love them deeply but as a wise woman told me a long time ago, “Love won’t fix them, it is just a starting point for the wounded.”