Alone in the Night


It is late. The house is quiet and still. Everyone is snug in their own beds. This lately is my favorite time. I pray, I cry, I reflect, and gather myself together. I can take off my momma and wife armour and breath. I can show weaknesses and gather in strength for tomorrow.

Our ordinary is not Ozzie and Harriet, not the Brady Bunch and not 7th Heaven. Our ordinary would drive many people crazy. What our ordinary is, is someone else’s unusual or exception to the rule.

You can’t look away for a second or Princess Houdini disappears. It is tempting to velcro her to your side or where Depends so she doesn’t bolt while you are using the bathroom.

You cannot guess what might set the kids off and never knowing what the reaction will be at that time. Will it be an eye roll, a stomped foot, a noise of disgust, full blown yelling or a meltdown of epic proportions .

It’s like spinning a wheel of chance. It can be exhausting and frustrating. But you can’t show weakness or they seem to sense and begin to push those buttons. Kids are smart no matter their physical, emotional or mental limitations.

Don’t get me wrong; we are blessed and we love them deeply. . God gave us these children. With each set of children we have seen challenges but each generation is different. We not only battle the junk that their biological parents dealt them but how the world is today.

So in my quiet time; I pray. I focus on my blessings and I praise God for my riches. Those riches aren’t monetary but in my mix and match crew from ages 43 to 11. This is my joy. As a mooma, I do fret and worry about ALL my kiddos but I also rejoice. I rejoice over the individuality and creativity they have.

In my quiet time, I recenter myself for the next day.



I am a wife, mother, and pastor. We moved from Bowling Green, Missouri to Idaho Falls in 2016. I am a native of Eastern Washington state. In 2013 I had 2 strokes in 8 days and this is my journey of faith, family and health. I believe no matter what happens in your life that God can use it for His glory.

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