There is a story of a Chinese proverb…this is the abbreviated story or the Cliff notes version:
A man had a son who he loved,
the son got a horse that was beautiful,
but was tossed from the horse,
the son broke his leg..
a warlord was taking able bodied boys and men but the son couldn’t go because of his injury
After each incident the father says, “good luck, bad luck who knows.”
That has been my mantra this week. It is only Wednesday and I am tired both physically and mentally. Saturday began it all, my left leg was swollen and was tender to the touch in the calf. Sunday it had not improved. I had been having trouble breathing and my chest was tight. My concern was blood clots.
Monday morning, I called for an appointment with Dr Adams. They ran an INR and it was 1.4. (For those who don’t know what that is it test your blood. It’s when you take Coumadin and you don’t want it to thin and you don’t want to thick. It is a pain in the butt). So we knew that was not the problem. But the tightness of the leg and the swelling was concern. Dr. Adams decided that we should go ahead and run a ultrasound on the leg and a cat scan of my chest. I was told to go to Mountain View Hospital right away. At that point I was feeling overwhelmed. They want you to the test and they weren’t sure how long itwould take. I had Rose to pick up then the hour after that Brandon. Thankful for our niece Kerri in helped out.
They did the CAT scan first. They had to put in an IV for the contrast dye. Fun fun oh I loved that. (Sarcasm.) The technician was pretty good, it only took two sticks. And lucky for me it was a donut style Cat Scan. No claustrophobia. I so loved the warm flush of the contrast dye down my body. You panic that you peed your pants.That took about 45 minutes. I then had to wait for the ultrasound of my leg. I really regretted not shaving for a few days. That took about 30 minutes. Whew that was done.
Home I went to take it easy and put up my leg. At 4 o’clock my phone rings.
Nurse: great news there are no clots.
Me: that is great news.
Nurse: Did you know that you have the thoracic aorta aneurysm?
Me:(confused pause) no noone has ever told me that. They would right?
Nurse: It’s larger than the Dr. would like . She wants to refer you to a cardio surgeon. Dr wants you to keep your legs up, rest, keep your blood pressure down, and avoid stress. We will make the referral for you.
Me:Okay great thank you goodbye.
Stay Calm ok, No stress..I Have A TEENAGER and a special needs child…no stress right. Then I do Google search on TAA. Dumbest thing to do. TAA is known as the silent killer, not usually discovered until death. John Ritter and Lucille Ball died of TAAs. Great now I feel like the old tinker is a bomb that could go KAPOW all of a sudden.
I tell Ron and we decide to tell the kids after school. I even had a picture. I am still talking calmly to myself. We pray and Give it God.
This is what it is..I am puffed out on my heart. Brandon begins to cry saying this is his fault because he is mean. Rose begins to wail that I am going to die. Well that went well. I comfort them.
I still have not cried and am in a fog. I know me getting the catscan was God’s hand. If it were not for my leg and chest hurting I would have not have had the Catscan we would had known of the heart issues.
Tueday I went to see the Hematology doctor, Dr.Adams the husband of my other Dr. Adams. He wants a blood work up done for clotting and another done to test for a blood syndrome. Mylanta…what more.
Oh wait this morning, Thursday they call telling me of my referral to the cardio surgeon and oh by the way we found in that catscan a small lump in your right breast. We are ordering a mammogram and ultrasound.
Now remember this is the nurse who said avoid stress. So as I am talking to her I have two arguing kids and three dogs barking because the kids are yelling. (Typical day here in Paradise.) She asks if I am ok. I told her this was normal… (I didn’t tell her, I would have been yelling for everyone to sit down and zip your lips or shut your snout.)
I send up a prayer and try to herd the kids out the door for school. I am still living and have kids to taxi to school and an office to get to and work to do. Life has to go on.
Surprisingly, even to me, I have not cried, have not melted down. I might be numb, I might be not sure how to tackle this. I am staying in prsyer. I pray for the peace that passes understanding. I pray for my family and I pray for God’s will to be done.
Through my faith, I am stronger. I am praying if it is will for a miracle that many will blame on scientific breakthroughs. I am a child of God and have fsith.
My journey will begin the 17th of January. Please pray for all my family during these diffict timed. Remember, Good luck, bad luck, who knows.