Burpee lover….ummm

Week 3 of the Crossfit class is complete. Only three more weeks of this class left. It is one of the absolutely hardest thing I have ever done physically since my stroke. At times I just don’t want to go but I do it. 

I walk in each day with a mixture of fear and determination. Fear that I won’t be able to due the progressions or the WOD (work out of the day). But determined that I will do it and get through it. 

I thought I would be worried about how I’d look compared to other people. They come in with their own baggage and issues. I really focus on my workout and do not compare myself to others. I sometimes wish I didn’t have so many modifications but I am only competing against myself.

There is almost a spiritual rush I get when I am done. I most certainly say a prayer of thanks when I am done and that I am still breathing even if it is gasping and panting. Seriosly, I do thank God that I am  able to do this and making progress. I thank Him that my diabetes is improving, I thank Him that I have not quit. 

My family has been so awesome. Chyrelle, my niece, is the coach and she is amazing. She told me I could do this. Kerri, Josh, Amber, Jennifer have been voices of encouragement. My kids think this is pretty cool. And my hubby says he is proud of me.

Now I do have modifications so my burpees look different but I do them and I am a big fan of them like the majority of the folks. In fact this weeks challenge is to do 500 burpees by Saturday. I am at 215. 

Me and the attack bike are getting to be close pals. The rowing machine and I are not as close. I keep getting my shoes stuck in the shoe spot, I spend more time strapping and unstrapping my feet than I do rowing.

I am forcing myself to push my left arm. I can lift it over my head now. A lot of time I am doing the motions without the hand weight to give it muscle memory. When I do use the weights, left arm gets less weight and I often use my right hand to help the left.

The barbells are a work in progress. I am using a 5 lb barbell with no plates. Partly because the extra weight with my  uneven strength puts me off balance. But once again I am building muscle memory. 

My absolute favorite thing is the rings. I can do the ring pull forever..well not literally. I can stand back and lean backwards and pull myself up and go back down. On these I rock out on, I feel most comfortable there. Today I hung on the pull up bar. This was a challenge, as I had to make sure not to compensate for my left side. It felt that my shoulder would pop out of the socket.

Each time I go to the gym I challenge myself that I can do this. We encourage one snother. There is a sisterhood of the challenge class. Friendships being formed over our sweat and grunts. If you would have ever told me I’d be doing this, I would have laughed hysterically. 

I am not only doing Crossfit, not only making progress and seeing it, I love this sport. Will I ever be competitive…well who knows. I am no longer a victim of my strokes but a survivor. It is not going to stop me. Burpees might but not my strokes.

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A Wedding Story

My son, Nicholas, requested I share my wedding story on this blog. As he is one of my children how could I not honor his request.

Ron and I met when we were both married to our first spouses. No We did not have a torrid affair. We were good friends but I had my marriage and he had his. We both attended the same business college and served on the student board. I was President and he was Vice President, so we were often on the same committees or in the same meetings. 

I did not find Ron to be to my taste. He was in a wheelchair with injuries from a fall. He wore polyester (polyester does melt when you burn it -but that is another story). He smoked and told corny jokes. He is no longer in a wheelchair, he now smokes e-cigs, does not wear polyester but the jokes remain.

Time and life happens in ways not planned. I ended up a divorced 27 year old. He became a divorced 39 year old. We had maintained our friendship and talked often. It came to a time where we were more than best friends. (I am skipping some portions of this tale for time reasons and for other stories.)

Ron didn’t really propose on bended knee. It just kind of happened. He did ask my sons Patrick and Nicholas permission to marry. Patrick was eight and Nicholas was six. Patrick had no issue but Nicholas have Ron a rather stern lecture on the dangers of smoking.

We decided to get married in Coure d’Alene, Idaho. You could get your license on the same day as you married. We decided on December 11, 1993. We packed our car the day before  we were to leave on a Thursday morning. So Wednesday night everything was placed in our car to leave. Thursday morning we wake up to our car broken into and no stereo system, a broken window and a few other things taken. So to Hermiston from the Tri-Cities we had to go.

At that time Ron was a car salesman at Harley Swain Subaru and that is where the car had been purchased from and they were willing to do a quick fix to get on the road.

So we leave later now on Friday morning with Patrick and Nicholas in tow. We arrive in Coure d’Alene and check into our hotel room. It is late so we eat and then go to our room. It has two double beds. The boys sleep with me and Ron gets a bed to myself. Perfect for a night before the wedding night. We turn on the television and watch the PBR (Professional Bull Riding) Finals.

In the morning we start our wedding prep. We were into our western stage and going to a lot of rodeos. Also it was the Garth Brooks era. I say all this to make you understand our attire. Ron wore jeans, boots and a loud flamboyant Garth shirt with a western belt and buckle. The boys were in matching mini Garth shirts, jeans stacked over their boots and rope belts threaded through the buckle with a bit hanging down. I, the bride, wore a burgundy broom skirt, a white lacy long sleeve shirt and a velvet brocade vest. My shoes were lace up granny boots. (We still have his shirt and my vest.)

Dressing complete we head to get our license and go get married. License was a breeze. Making the appointment wasn’t. We thought we could just show up and we’d get it done…nope we had to wait until 11:30. Ok I am nervous as all get out. But we have over two hours to wait. Ron decided that we would tour the city. 

I was getting cold feet, better yet they were ice cold. The more he drove around, the more nervous I got and I began to panic and told him that we could drive back home. Luckily, he ignored me. After touring the town and the lake and the town and lake, it was time.

We headed to the Hitchin’ Post for our 11:30 wedding. Nicholas was to hold the rings and Patrick would take pictures. We had brought a cassette player and a cassette of a Joe Diffie and Mary Chapin Carpenter song, “Too Much to Ask”. We began the wedding with someone with two first names, Billy Bob or Don Bob. 

I got all misty eyed and deeply moved. Patrick was snapping pictures left and right. Nicholas held the pillow just right. It wasn’t a long wedding, I think another couple was booked at 11:45.

After the nuptials we are famished and go to eat. We go to a rather decent restaraunt. I get a shrimp cocktail thinking it is fancy and the boys got ice cream. The hotel had given us a coupon book for the outlet mall, so we headed there. I got a free salt water pearl necklace. Then went to the toy store for the boys. 

The boys wanted to go see a movie, so we find a movie theater. We get to see the 3 Musketeers. The theater has these wonderful reclining chairs. I am looking forward to holding my new husbands hand during the movie. Instead I have a boy on each side of me.

We return to the hotel. I had bought a modest nightie, knowing the boys would be there. I am looking forward to cuddling with my husband in our bed at the hotel. The boys aren’t having that, they want to sleep with Mom. I put on my raggedy t-shirt and shorts and climb into bed with my children given my husband’s bed a wistful gaze. PBR is turned again and we doze off to sleep on our wedding night.

Thus begin our marriage….wait until you hear about the honeymoon.

P.S. Once we had the wedding pictures developed we found something interesting, Ron had no head or a partial face in the pictures. My son had done a wonderful job taking pictures of his 4’11” mom but not so great as getting his step dad into the pictures. The joke now is I can put anyone’s head into our wedding photos. 

Saturday Crossfit

This morning I woke up at 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning to go and workout. Now that sounds like a rather benign comment. But anyone who knows me realizes this alone a miracle. I am a sleep in on a Saturday gal.

Saturday is the one day I don’t work or have to get up and get Frick and Frack ready for school. 

Today I woke up, rubbed the sleep from my eyes, put on my workout clothes and grabbed a higher protein breakfast than usual. Then I drove to Maltese Crossfit for an hour workout.

Air bike, push-ups,  rings and fast walking.  These are a modified for my left stroke side. I was sweating and panting. My left arm was shaking. I loved it!!! I accomplished the workout. Was it perfect? Not at all. But it didn’t need to be.

Who would have thought my 51 (almost 52) year old lazy anti exercise lazy butt body would be doing this? If you have asked me 10 years ago, I would have laughed hilarious until tears were coming down my face. 

And after the strokes, I thought I was lucky to be even walking and able to move my arm much less being doing Crossfit. I am a reformed being. Today I even lifted my left arm over my head. This is a major accomplishment. 

When I am doing this, I am on a different zone. I am absorbed into what I am doing and thinking of how I am going to improve my reps, calories and timing.

It helps that my family believes in me and I have an awesome coach in Chyrelle. It helps that I also believe in me.

Crossfit-Day 3

I am sore tonight but extremely satisfied. I am doing this. I felt like carp today but I still went and I am glad I did.

Tonight was a night of family. My niece K, 2 of my great nieces, A and Coach Miller, and 1 great great niece and 2 great great nephews and the Princess. It is pretty cool to see the generations there. K and A’s workouts are A lot more advanced and they were kicking butt.

My workout was: 

Strength was hang snatches.

EMOMS:

 #1-7 hang snatches, 1 minute rowing. 30 sec burpees (modified for me)

 #2-10 s2oh dumbbells, 15 ring rows, 200 m run ( modified to 1 minute on bike for me)

#3-15 goblet squats, 1 minute plate hops, 30 second shuttle

Each 3 rounds.

I made it through…even though I didn’t do the rounds correctly. I did one of each round and then started over. I love the rings, rowing machine and air bike.

The 2 hand overhead is tough on the left side. Hang snatches, I am only using a bar at this point. I am hooked. My group is so supportive. Not to the point of babying me but encouraging me.

I feel sore but I am happy. If I can do this, anyone can.

Crossfit Day 2

Tonight kicked my butt. 

Let me backtrack a bit first. When I woke up this morning, Ron asked me how I felt. I replied that the only thing that didn’t hurt were my eyelashes. I was sore today but not in so much pain that I was collapsed on the floor in pain.

Now back to today. I went in and wrote down the strength workout and the WOD (workout of the day). Strength was dumbells and bar lift. WOD was jumpsteps, burpees and wall ball. My tainer who is my great-niece who is a great niece and a great coach, modified things to take into account my left side. Now this does not mean it is made easy for me. 

It amazes me of what I can do. Yes, I realize this is only the second day but people have already dropped from our class. Yesterday we had 14, today we had 9. And I was one of the ones that made it today. Plus I completed today.

This is challenging and tough but I enjoy that. I am not in competition with anyone else but me. I admit on the 4th round, I was ready to call it a day. I pushed through though. 

I was getting shakey legged on my left side foot tonight. It will learn to cooperate or else. This would make great physical therapy for stroke folks. Especially with the modifications. This is almost as hard at the rehab at Mercy Stroke Rehabilitation.

Tonight when I got home and took a bath. The water felt wonderful and was relaxing. The problem was when I got ready to get out, I couldn’t. My weaker side would not take my weight. I had to have Ron help me out of there. He did volunteer to brink me a pillow and blanket. What a guy?

Tonight I am feeling it all over. No pain, no gain, if you don’t feel it, it isn’t working.  

Crossfit Day 1

Hear ye, hear ye!!! I made it through day 1 of Crossfit at Maltese Crossfit taught by my beautiful niece Chyrelle. Tonight was like a family reunion there with 3 other family members there. 

I honestly thought I would fail tonight. I had visions of falling on my butt and not being able to get up. Ok, the getting up part was hard and I did look for a moment like a floundering turtle.  

No one laughed. We were all in our own zone of trying to breathe at the same time as doing all these new movements. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw some who were not beginners. I didn’t have time to gaze about as my body was yelling at me for causing it to move in new unimaginable post stroke ways.

My drop foot doesn’t drop and stay flat so at times they may have thought I had more than water in my bottle. My hand did its clutching thing on the air bike but that was great, I didn’t fall off one time at all.

It is nice accomplishing something new…and tomorrow I get to do it all over again. Be still my soul. I am no longer just a stroke survivor, I am a Crossfit survivor. Or at least a day one survivor.

A New Start

When I was recovering from my strokes is when this blog was born. It has seen recovery, heartache, family growth, day to day life and moving across the country. Now a new chapter is beginning.

I am going to be starting cross fit. This is both exhilarating for me to do but also terrifying. I still do not have full function in my left arm and my lower left leg. So this should be interesting. I can list here all the things that I can’t do because of my body limitations but by doing so I admit defeat. I will have to modify. I may not end up looking in great form but I will be doing the best I can.

Part of me is proud of myself for going for this. But this is not the hardest thing I have ever done. Hard was the two strokes. Hard was learning to walk, learning how to use my hand for fine motor. Hard was figuring out how to get dressed. I remember the joy I had when I learned to put on my bra by myself and the first time I buttoned my jeans. So why does this make me nervous?

One- I hate to fail. Two- I hate to disappoint. Three- I am competitive. Four- I hate looking awkward. Fifth- I don’t like to sweat. Ok number five is me being a goof. I am going to have to “suck it up, butter cup” probably quite often. Quitting, stopping or making excuses is not an option. Have a hunch my prayer life got a bit more intense.

I told some of my kids about me doing this and they laughed and then they saw that I was serious. He who laughs last…

Tonight at the YAK (Young Adult Court), we had some major breakthroughs with trust and some great laughs. But toward the end of the social, we saw some changes come over them as we shared how much we love them. We talked with them about having a 30 minute gathering of sharing God’s word in some form. They got excited about it. We would let them formulate the ideas and we will implement them.

This excites me. This is a new way for them to not so much see church but for them to begin to see relationship and spirituality. To see the Living Christ and how He loves them. I love these kids and I admire them. They aren’t perfect…they are real. They are overcoming great odds and learning to make good choices.

The best part of Sunday night is when they give you a goodbye hug and I whisper, “you are loved”. Sometimes they think I am only talking about how I love them but I am also speaking of God’s love.

This may be what God is putting before us…a new way to be the Church.

I will keep you apprised on how much I have accomplished–with both the fitness plan and my YAK kids.

Find your passion, pray, listen and pursue.

Going Down

The phrase going down today has a double meaning. It’s going down in blood sugar and it’s going down in the physical type of falling. Both are quite interesting and quite challenging in their unique way.

Good news,good news!! Since being on The Whole30 diet my blood sugar’s have dropped. If you knew me proor to this diet,you know that’s miraculous. I have not been a great one to deal with blood sugars or frankly my diabetes. I have ranged normally in the the upper 200’s to lower 200’s. On this Whole30 diet I have a tendency to have lows. My blood sugars are great when they’re good being in the the 120 to 90 range. But now I struggle with huge drops or what we call lows. My numbers have dropped as low as 58. These lows leave you feeling disoriented and for me my vision constrains. I see little lights in front of my eyes.

So I am learning to live with controlling my sugars on a new diet. I just have to listen to my body closer. Speaking of my body (ok you weren’t but I had to find a segue). I have not yet had my way in but my belt loops keep moving and I have been able to fit into some of my clothes much better. I am finding that I don’t miss many of the foods that are not allowed. Yes, even bread and chocolate. Still trying at times to succumb my desire got a Starbucks white chocolate mocha single shot with whipped.

I find myself eating a healthy non cheese non McDonalds breakfast.We are saving a bunch not eating the easy out of mom’s everywhere–fast food and pizza delivery. My kids are sure that I am making them suffer. Why is it that I think the first words out of a child’s mouth after dada and mama is McDonalds? My kids and my beloved are probably suffering more than I am. Our house has become a no junk food zone. According to the Princess I am starving her from the good stuff. I am such a horrible mom…call Children’s Division. Oh wait, she has threatened me with that for making her starve because she didn’t want the apple, she wanted cheeze puffs.

Now to the other fall or make that plural falls. Sit back for this tale or I am going to say tails. We in our insanity have three dogs; our old man Ralph, who is one of the originals, Chrissy who is the Princesses’ pup is aour german shepherd/border collie mix and our

rescue dog and now we have Gizmo.

Gizmo is a labradoodle pup that people were rehoming. We got him at a bargain basement price. If you know me, I wont pay an arm or a leg for a dog with a pedigree but he cost as much as a rescue in this area. Gizmo was named Divot but he is truly a Gizmo. Eight month old slobbery goofball who forgets he is a monster. He loves attention and is a sweetie. Did I mention he is a big eight month old pup?

We have a run line from our back door out about 20 feet until we get a fence built. I usually let them out in a certain order; the old man, the little girl and then Gizmo. I was doing great today. Ralphie went out and in, Chrissy went out and last but not least Gizmo.

Gizmo is afraid to go down the stairs. Why? I have no clue. So you have to encourage him with the word “Go”. I was encouraging him with the door partially open and then this streak of fur rushes by me. Chrissy had snuck out by me. Now anyone who knows about border
collies knows they are quick little buggers. I assumed (you have heard about what it means to aaume) she was running to the dog run which is in the baxk corner….nope. She was doing laps around the yard with me frantically calling her.

Now a quick sidenote. I am not nimble nor graceful since my strokes. My version of what I would call running you all would call something else. It is a strange hobble wobble drag leg thing. A 90 year old man could feasibly outrun me.

I totter down the back patio stairs that has no stairs. Trying to chase herdown. The dog juked me so many times. Heading to the front yard sending me into a panic as Sunnyside is next to our house. Sunnyside is a four lane busy road and we already had lost our Minnie to that road.

As soon as I am heading toward the front she flies by me to the backyard. I attempt to pivot and end up on the ground. Next to me was a brick half wall we haven’t figured out wh is there. I know now why, it is a “Dawn getter upper”. While I am working my way up, I look up and the great big bumbling galoot has snapped the run line.

So now I am chasing two dogs frantically calling their names like a crazy lady.(Please no comments on that from the peanut gallery.) I am getting panicky. Gizmo goes by and I stepped on the dangling off of the run line. Next thing I am laying on the ground with the air knocked out of me.

Chrissy never slows down. Gizmo comes over to check on me and I am able to grab him and use him to help me up. Helps to have a friendly giant. Chrissy is on lap 200 of the yard. I am able to somehow drag Gizmo back into the house. Please your imagination to how that had to look.

Chrissy now sees her buddy is going into the house and she hesitates. I grab the doggie treat bag and shake it. She comes closer and then darts into the house. She is panting, I am panting and the other two dogs are looking back and forth at us.

As I hobble into the breakfast nook, I look down at my Converse Chucks and see in my foray, I found some special surprises that the Teen swore he had been picking up every day. I am just blessed that any other part of me was not surprised.

So now I am sore from my falls and my bllod sugar is low at 60. So the moral is there are benefits to white cocolate mochas and don’t fall for any dogs.

Sleeping to the Sound of My Voice

Today was a typical day in Turnerville, The Teen exploding, teasing, backtaling and arguing. The Princess alternating from whining to laughing or just chattering away to herself

The Teen stayed home sick. Not sure how truly sick he was, have a hunch he was pulling a Ferris Bueller. The Teen now thinks chores are optional if he doesn’t feel like doing them. I informed eating could be optional also. He didn’t like that. I am glad I color my hair because I am sure I am gray. His grades have drastically improved but he continues to struggle with The social aspects. He struggles with self esteem. We keep trying to build him up but he says we do it because we have to.

The Teen and The hubby clash so often. Mostly because The Teen pushes his buttons and doesn’t stop. My normally patient husband will only take so much and The Teen doesn’t know when to quit The backtalk.

The Princess had dress up as a Disney character day at school. We convinced her to be unique and go as a clown from the circus in Dumbo. That we could recycle her clown costume for one more go. I was told tonight there were way too many princesses. She was to walk home by herself today. She went to a friend’s house and had her mom bring her home because her legs got too tired. Tonight at dinner she ate her whole dinner including meat and veggies. No complaints.

She is the one that wants to be around us and do things with us as opposed to the Teen who wants to nowhere and keeps to himself. He told us he didn’t want to be seen in public. Which always makes Ron think of the Ron White routine. I hope Princess continues to like us. But soon she too Wil become a teenager and go through PPC aka puberty personality change.

I have come to term with my diet which is more a lifestyle change. I have not weighed myself as that is a no no for the first 30 days. I know my pants are baggy and people say I am looking thinner. I am doing well avoiding my temptation foods and drinks. Even on my cheat day I barely cheat. I have stayed very basic choosing not to do a lot of fancy recipes. I am finding I don’t miss like I thought.

One good thing is that my blood sugars have lowered too the point I ha e been too low. My body clues me in quickly. Only problem is that the things I would normally due are all no no foods. Also, Ron is cooking more so he fixes their meal and I fix mine. So this a win win.

Tonight we ate dinner and actually had the kids talking. Let me rephrase thar, the Princess always talk but The Teen actually joined in with a pleasant tone and not a surly growl or grunt. Love those nights. We always no matter what eat dinner together at the table. Even if you choose not to eat, you come to the table.

My relationship with God and my journey brings me closer to Him everyday. Maybe it is due to my age. Maybe it is my Christian maturity. Maybe it is my continuing health issues and the challenges of the last year.. All I know that in this time I am closer to Him than ever before. It helps tremendously as our lives are not rainbow and unicorns. I am truly walking by faith. 

Tonight I was waxing philosophical to my husband as we settled into bed. I thought we were talking until; one, he didn’t answer my question and two, he began to snore. I had to chuckle, I put him to sleep with my talking and I hope not to do that to people on Sundays.

Tonight my prayer is for my family, my churches past and present, for those hurting and for God’s will to be done. Not my will but His will. During this season of Lent, I have been hearing Him remind of that. He has this, I just have to fully surrender and completely let go and let him. He also has been letting me not be afraid of who I am or how I am..I don’t have to be a copy or cookie cutter image of what people envision me to be as a wife, mother and pastor.. I just need to be me.

I am now hearing the soft breathing of two dogs, the muffled snores of my spouse, the sleep mumbles of the Princess and the quiet house noises. I am happy, I am content. I am at peace and I am loved.

So what if I put my husband asleep with my voice-I will consider that a talent.

Dieting. Dogs and other Doozy’s

Diet

I have been on the wonderful (please note sarcasm) Whole30 diet for one month . My skin is clearer, my blood sugars have been lower and my pants are saggy. That is the wonderful part. The not so wonderful part this is not a real diet as much as a complete lifestyle change.

So my days of bread, dairy, sugar,  (real and fake) foods and drinks and any and all processed foods or chemically enhanced foods may be at the end. You might say that isn’t bad. In a sense it is great. But my head thinks it is missing bread, rice, pasta and, cheese, yogurt, canned veggies and canned miscellany and real milk. Sometimes my stomach too wonders why it is not getting fried chicken, potato salad and corn on the cob. Which are all three no-no’s. I keep telling my brain and stomach we can do this and not slip back to eating bacon with my eggs or pizza. We no longer have pizza nights for the whole family. They get pizza and I have a salad with no cheese, no croutons, and an oil, vinegar and lemon concoction that I have made as the dressing.

Most evenings I cook two meals. Theirs might be spaghetti, Mac n cheese, beans and rice, homemade chicken noodle soup or a taco casserole. Me I will have; a lean meat, potato (baked with clarified butter or ghee)or oven roasted potato, or fried potato in an nonstick pan with a bit of cocunut and a steamed veggie . Dessert is some dried fruit or fresh fruit. Sounds gloriously healthy. I have stuck to it faithfully with only two cheat days where I didn’t cheat as much as I could of (I felt guilty).  It really isn’t too bad but hate the Dr insinuated that I was grossly obese and if I didn’t lose weight a gastric sleeve will be necessary. I am overweight but not gastric sleeve overweight. I have no clue as what I have lost yet as I was told not to weigh myself until my Dr visit. 

Today I went to get my INR (blood test to see if your blood is to thick or thin). I have to do this as I take Coumadin, a blood thinner. Due to miscommunication over if was my family doctor or hemotologist in refilling the prescription (and both are a Dr. Adams-husband and wife and trouble communicating who was doing the refill), I went four days without the med. When I went into it was a 1.0 which is too thick for people take Coumadin aka Warfarin, they would like it to be 2.5-3.0. So my blood was to thick. (I have heard of thick skinned before and there I am being differen and being thick blooded. I think They should call it rich blooded, it sounds fancier.) They called in the prescription but to the wrong Walmart pharmacy (yep, we have two in our town). After much craziness the lost was found. Now we get to thin out the blood but not make it to thin.

Dogs 

In our craziness of loving dogs and my strange need to fill a space after one of our four legged fur babies die, we got another dog. Are we nuts, probably. We got this dog for the Teen. A Labradoodle, who needed to be re-homed. We got him for a basement value price. He is seven  months old, black with a white beard, he is big and he is a slobbery goofball. He was formerly named Divot but now is Gizmo. I adore this dog. The Teen loves him but doesn’t take care of him as he should. Gizmo has chosen me. When I go on the stairs, he gets under my hand and walks me down the stairs. He searches for me and drops toys in my lap or rubs or leans on me. 

He and Chrissy (the Princesse’s dog), who is eight months old, play and play. Up the stairs, down the stairs, around in circles until they both drop in exhaustion. This doesn’t last too long and then they are back in play mode. It tires you out just watching them. I think though they are good for each other.

Ralphie, now the elder statesman, accepted Gizmo rather well. He got after him one time in a major way to establish who is the alpha. Ralph does not like it when one of his people get between him and Gizmo. There is grumbling and a snap toward him with his tail wagging. But he has established he was here first so you better show respect.

Doozys

Let me see. The Teen suddenly has gone from F’s to A’s. God does work miracles. He has the incentive of no permit unless his grades improve. I am so proud of him for stepping up his game.

He still struggles with his mental diagnoses and hates taking his meds. It is a constant battle. He is like a lot of folks, they are feeling fine so why take the meds. We keep on telling him he is feeling good because he is taking the meds. I am praying this will not be his demon. He is a great kid and now we need to convince him. We have a great team working with him at the Pearl Center. We still struggle with technology and screen times.

Our Princess is still her unique quirky child. She is starting to develop and we (I) have to remind her to wear her training bra. She is maturing in body but has the mentality of an eight to nine year old. She will come up with crazy statements that make you crack up.  She talks so fast and unclearly that you wonder if she is speaking in tongues but then we realize she has no translator.  She only leaves her regular classroom two times a day for a half your each time. She is maintaing her grades in a regular classroom at a C average. That is amazingly excellent.

She has not wandered off for quite awhile and I pray she doesn’t. Knock on wood. She loves being outside in the dirt, riding her bike on our dead end street or playing in the play house. She still imitates a racoon by taking things she likes to her ro her room and hiding it. Usually if something is missing we know where to look. 

With her nothing is boring. On Sunday she caught fire while lightening candles at church. Luckily I caught it as she went down the stairs. No one else saw was happening due to the  Passing of the Peace beginning. I saw it and quickly snapped her dress and and quickly patted out the flames. She was more upset that her dress lining that made her dress poofy had melted and that is was a brand new dress. She is always full of excitement. 

Never a dull moment with our youngest two.

Ron and I are unchanged. We work, take care of the kids, pay bills and are finnaly  starting  to do house projects. There is a lot of yard work and straightening up still to do. Hopefully we are actually seeing Spring. We still have a few rooms to decorate. I have been still sorting things and organizing what we do have and at times mourning the items we lost.

I have finally started going through boxes of my mom’s things. Mostly pictures and paperwork. I am labeling the pictures for future generations. I found death certificates of several family members. My grandfathers WWII Navy records. I found a reccomendation letter from a Spokane funeral home where my grandfather apprenticed. I have found a copy of my great grandmother’s will on my grandpa’s side. I have found a letter written by my great grandfather on my moms side, written in 1938, explaining his family history as written to a friend named George. I found my mom and stepdad’s and my maternal grandparent’s original marriage certificates and I am still sorting. My wonder is will any of my children be interested in these things. The two eldest boys know some of these people but will they want these things if I pass onto the afterlife.

Healthwise, Ron is healthy as all get out. My mom once said I would be taking care of him due to our age difference. Ironically it is the other way around. He cares for me on so many levels; emotionally, spiritually and physically. Sometimes I feel like a huge burden but he says we married for sickness and health, richer and poorer now all we have to do is wait for healthy and rich. But I always hear The words, “I love you” and his actions and works for this family shows his love, patience and commitment to all of us. It is unconditional. 

The aneurysm at times weighs heavily on us. We know the size and the possibilities. We know my stress is supposed to be limited. Hello, I have two special need kids and one is a teenager. I try to not think of it and just go on with life. I can’t dwell there but at times your mind goes there. I believe  that is when the devil is at work on me. Stupid devil.

I have written more than I planned tonight. It is now 2:52 a.m. and I am having one of my insomnia nights. These are the nights where I can’t fall asleep no matter my best intentions so I write or would be properly called typing. I am sorry if this was rambling and I probably put you to sleep after the first paragraph. If that is the case I better read it so I can go to the Land of Nod.

Blessings abound to you all.